Espresso Epiphany

Ten Years Ago...

2011-09-11T19:39:51Z

On a beautiful and clear September morning, I was running errands very early and had driven about 20 minutes away to hand-deliver a bill so it wouldn't be late. On the drive I was suffering from an intense headache which seemed to worsen by the minute. I had occasional migraines during that time, and this was turning into a really bad one. I got so nauseous as I drove that I knew I was going to vomit any moment. With my stomach no longer in my control, all I had time to do was grab was an old soda cup from the floor as I was slowing down to pull over to the side of the road. Afterwards, I pressed on to drive the next few miles to get home.

Finally in my house, I cautiously ate a saltine to settle my stomach, took some Motrin then went straight to bed to recover. That was about 8:45. I woke up an hour or so later with my oldest daughter knocking on my door, telling me the Twin Towers and Pentagon had been attacked and to turn on the news. My three daughters and I sat together on my bed and watched the terrible events continue to unfold. I remember growing fearful, especially with the Pentagon attack so close to home and because of the boldness of attacking the Pentagon at all. I was afraid the attack could be much bigger than we knew at that point. I told my younger girls to get prepared just in case we needed to leave town for my parents' place outside of the area. No kidding, I really was afraid!

On a personal level I felt extraordinarily vulnerable and unequipped for walking through this event. My husband had left me less than a year before and I was intensely feeling the absence of a partner in protecting myself and my daughters, and in helping with decision-making. I felt alone and weak, anxious and afraid... and yet, times like this when I have been so acutely aware that all I have is God, remain the most profoundly peace- and grace-filled times I've experienced to this day.

I can't share about this day without saying I am forever grateful to the heroic first responders (and many unofficial "first responders") who sacrificed their lives in a courageous attempt to rescue victims of the September 11th attacks. They will always be loved and missed. May God bless their loved ones with grace and peace.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah Psalm 46:1-3 ESV

Frozen Yogurt Pie

2011-05-28T18:10:28Z

Summer is nearly here... and apparently the heat and humidity scheduled an early arrival! I'm already thinking of cool and refreshing ideas for summer meals and treats. I avoid using my oven in hot weather whenever possible, so I look to no-cook-no-bake ideas for summer fare. One of my very favorite simple desserts is Frozen Yogurt Pie... no cooking, no baking, just mix and freeze and it's ready to eat! My favorite flavors are strawberry, key lime and raspberry. The recipe below is my favorite way to make it! Give it a try!

{photo credit: Mimsy Studios}

Frozen Yogurt Pie

1 premade graham cracker crust
3 6 oz containers flavored yogurt
1 8 oz container Cool Whip non-dairy whipped topping (defrost to soften)
Fresh fruit, sliced, diced, crushed or otherwise prepared to mix or garnish pie (optional)

Stir yogurt into whipped topping until well blended.
Add fresh fruit to yogurt mixture, if desired.
Spread yogurt mix evenly in graham cracker crust.
Top with fresh fruit, if desired. (or top after freezing)

Freeze for 4 hours.
Remove from freezer 10-15 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

PS Parents, this is a fun and EASY dessert to make with your little ones! What a delicious way to spend a little time together in the kitchen this summer! :-)

A Mother Is...

2011-05-06T14:18:29Z

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

Washington Irving

So true... I was blessed to have this lovely lady for my mother; a faithful friend through the joys and trials of life. I miss my mommy more than ever as Mother's Day approaches, nearly two years now since her passing. The hope of heaven helps my heart in my ongoing journey of grieving the loss of my mother and friend.

If your heart is heavy with the loss of a loved one, I encourage you to talk to a trusted friend, if possible. Grief is so deeply personal that we tend to turn inward with it and, too often, keep it there. Our friends wonder how we're doing, but aren't sure how to reach out to us. I am learning how to help my friends help me by initiating the conversation and sharing what's happening in my heart. Please consider, as well, visiting GriefShare to explore their helpful resources, such as local support groups and daily email encouragements.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Romans 8:18

Follow

2011-01-06T20:45:14Z

My "one little word" for 2011 is "follow". Follow was the first and only word that I thought of when I pondered one little word for the new year. In looking towards the next season of life, I am too often overcome with fear and... well... more fear. I anticipate changes ahead that will, no doubt, challenge me in every way. My weaknesses and limitations are more evident than ever and I can't see through the veil between the now and not yet how they will fit into my future life and the paths I might walk. In short, I'm in a constant battle with terror, dread, and sheer panic. So... follow... follow Christ... He is leading me into a future that He is preparing for me... there is no safer place to be. Follow.

Happy Epiphany!

Birthday Blessings

2010-12-23T23:04:30Z

Birthday blessing to my oldest and youngest who both celebrate "landmark" birthdays this month! I can't believe I have a 30 year old and that my "baby" is 18!! Happy Birthday, my loves! God bless you both on your special days and always!!

Let Them Eat Cake!

2010-11-07T03:15:48Z

How blessed am I to celebrate the birthdays of three little granddaughters in one of my favorite months of the year! This year our November babies will be turning 7, 2 and 1 and we will have our fill of cake and ice cream in the space of one week. I love you, my little birthday girlies! Happiest Birthday! Huzzah!

Friday Favorites: Sweet Things

2010-10-22T00:59:06Z

My favorite sweet things?! Happy to share...

Butter Pecan Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

Cheesecake

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Dark Chocolate

Tiramisu

Whoopie Pies

Have Paintbrush... Will Travel...

2010-10-08T16:40:37Z

Oh.My.Word.

I love colors! I love paint! I'm not sure yet if I love painting, but as with every artistic endeavour I throw myself into, I wholeheartedly enjoy the process of collecting a stash of lovely supplies!! I get caught up in and overwhelmed by the world of color... how many blues or whites can a girl have? Not enough for me, apparently!!

These are my colors, so far, both selected for specific projects and those I am still color-testing...

Martha Stewart Living - Talc

Martha Stewart Living - Aegean Blue

Martha Stewart Living - Artesian Well

Martha Stewart Living - Molasses (to mix with glaze for antiquing)

Behr Premium Plus Ultra - Polar Bear

Behr Premium Plus Ultra - Custom: Tracey's Robin's Egg Blue

Behr Premium Plus Ultra - Custom: The Nester's Robin's Egg Blue (SW Halcyon Green)

Sherwin Williams Duration - Meander Blue

Ralph Lauren Faux Aging Glaze - Tobacco, Tea Stain, Sun Fade

Behr Faux Antiquing Glaze

Rustoleum Chalkboard Paint

Various and sundry spray primers and paints

And these are some of my projects...

world globe - Chalkboard Paint (Rustoleum spray)
wood / rush chair - Robin's Egg Blue (Rustoleum 2X spray)
mini wall display hutch - Behr Polar Bear w/antique glaze
hanging wall hutch - Behr Polar Bear w/antique glaze
Ikea Leksvik buffet - Behr Polar Bear w/antique glaze
French Provincial chest of drawers - SW Meander Blue w/antique glaze
vintage tower bookshelf - Behr Polar Bear w/antique glaze
vintage hutch - The Nester's Robin's Egg Blue (SW Halcyon Green) w/antique glaze
brass chandelier - Robin's Egg Blue (Rustoleum 2X spray) [DONE]
ornamental oval frames - ?
ornamental mirror - ?
framed chalkboard - ?

I'll post before and after photos as I get through each project.

Chile Con Queso

2010-09-06T19:13:03Z

It's Labor Day and, in the spirit of celebrating all those who labor, I thought I would treat myself to something junky. And cheesy. That you can eat with tortilla chips. Actually, it has nothing to do with Labor Day or the end of summer vacation or the fact that the neighborhood will be blissfully quiet again tomorrow when all the kids go back to school. I just had a hankerin' for this awesome and slightly curious chile con queso.

This was a family favorite when I was growing up. It made its debut in the 70s and always returned for an annual appearance on New Year's Eve. Maybe other times, too, but I remember it as a New Year's Eve thing.

Anyway, it's not too complicated and you can whip it up in under 30 minutes.

Ingredients:
1 medium onion finely chopped
2 Tablespoons butter
1 15 oz. can tomato sauce
1 can peeled green chiles, chopped
1 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese
8 oz. cheddar cheese, cubed or grated
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
Wilt onion in butter; add tomato sauce, chiles, salt and pepper.
Simmer about 10 minutes.
Add cheeses and continue to simmer until all cheese is melted.
Stir thoroughly. (a metal whisk is helpful)

Serve with tortilla chips.

I've used spring onions and sometimes throw in some jalapenos if I want to spice it up.

Eat with caution if you have gallbladder problems. Just sayin'.

A Dream and a Hug

2010-09-01T13:40:47Z

For the second time since my mom died a year ago, I dreamed about her. The first time it happened, I dreamed she was dying in the hospital but, unlike the way it happened in real life, she was conscious and I was able to tell her how much I loved her and how she was the *best mother I could have ever wanted and how I *hoped I could be even half the mother she was. I told her how sorry I was for my arrogant and judgmental attitudes and remarks that wounded her here and there through the years, how sorry I was for my selfish ways that hindered our being together when we could have and how sad I was that circumstances beyond my control hindered our being together so many other times.

Last night, though, there were no words... she was just standing there and we hugged for a long time and I remember in my dream how good and soft she felt and how safe I felt.

Oh, God, I miss my mommy and her delicious hugs.

]]>

*Fortunately, sometime in the year before my mother died we had a conversation in which I did tell her these two things. There was never a time in my entire life (and I remember being a very young child with this conscious thought) when I wasn't aware that God had blessed me with the best mother in the world. I will always regret that, when it mattered, I did not exhibit the humility to ask her forgiveness for specific ways in which I knew I had hurt her. I know she would tell me now that God's grace was sufficient for her then and His grace is sufficient for me now.

Lurve...

2010-05-09T12:49:07Z

"Love is, is too weak a word for what I feel - I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?"

~ Alvy Singer to Annie Hall

Happy Mother's Day, Mama! And Happy Mother's Day to Nana, Grandma, Great-Grandma, Aunt Margie, Aunt Ayako and all my angel mamas I never had the privilege of knowing.

Suffering's Great Mystery

2010-04-27T00:57:35Z

"D.A. Carson said, 'In the darkest night of the soul, Christians have something to hold into that Job never knew. We know Christ crucified. Christians have learned that when there seems to be no other evidence of God's love they cannot escape the cross. He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all, how shall he not also along with Him graciously give us all things? When we suffer there will sometimes be mystery. Will there also be faith? Yes. If our attention is focused more on the cross and on the God of the cross than on the suffering itself.'

Here's what I've found. Those who recognize that their suffering in this life is never as great or as serious as their sins, find joy in an unexpected place in the midst of suffering. Because the great mystery is not, "Why do I suffer?" The great mystery is, "Why would the sinless Son of God suffer as my subsitute on the cross for my sins, receiving the wrath that I deserve so that I might be forgiven and declared righteous?" That is the great mystery of mercy. And that mystery can and will make all the difference in the midst of the severest forms of suffering."
~ C.J. Mahaney

Missing Nana

2010-03-14T20:31:30Z

"If seeds in the black earth can turn into such beautiful roses, what might not the heart of man become in its long journey toward the stars?"

- G.K. Chesterton

I miss you, my lovely Nana! Surely our good and faithful God nurtured you in your long journey and in you blossomed His most exquisite flowers... love and grace.

Weep

2010-01-06T21:14:58Z

Weep... one little word for 2010...

I had no idea that my one little word for 2009 would take on so much more meaning than I anticipated or, in all honestly, ever wanted. Embrace. Losing both my mother and grandmother over the summer - within eight weeks of each other - brought daily opportunities to embrace God's will, embrace His plan, embrace an eternal perspective, and simply embrace HIM.

And so now I weep. Sorrow. Joy. Regret. Redemption.

And then there are no words... just tears.

Happy Epiphany!

Overcoming

2010-01-05T21:03:43Z

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it."

Helen Keller