For the second time since my mom died a year ago, I dreamed about her. The first time it happened, I dreamed she was dying in the hospital but, unlike the way it happened in real life, she was conscious and I was able to tell her how much I loved her and how she was the *best mother I could have ever wanted and how I *hoped I could be even half the mother she was. I told her how sorry I was for my arrogant and judgmental attitudes and remarks that wounded her here and there through the years, how sorry I was for my selfish ways that hindered our being together when we could have and how sad I was that circumstances beyond my control hindered our being together so many other times.
Last night, though, there were no words... she was just standing there and we hugged for a long time and I remember in my dream how good and soft she felt and how safe I felt.
Oh, God, I miss my mommy and her delicious hugs.
